The monks of St. Mary's Abbey, in the tradition of Benedictine hospitality, extend the promise of our prayers during this time of grief. We hope that you will find these guidelines helpful in planning your loved one’s funeral in St. Mary's Abbey Church.
1. Reservation of the abbey church for a Funeral Mass is made through the abbey's adminsitrative assistant, Mrs. Karen Schiner. Please contact Mrs. Schiner at (973) 538-3231 or at [email protected], to arrange the date and time of the funeral and to plan liturgical rites and music.
2. A donation of $300 minimum (check payable to St. Mary's Abbey) is requested for the use of the Abbey Church. A donation of $50 (payable to St. Mary's Abbey) is required for the sacristan who will set up and clean up after the funeral. The funeral director should present these checks at the time of the funeral Mass. If you care to give an honorarium to the celebrant, that is separate from the above donations.
3. According to the St. Mary's Abbey Book of Customs, times for funerals are established to respect the hours of prayer for the monks. It is suggested that you schedule the Funeral Mass no earlier than 9:00 AM and no later than 10:30 AM, or betwen 1:00 PM and 3:00 PM.
4. All music arrangements are coordinated by the Abbey Principal Organist, Mr. Robert Long. Additional musicians or vocalists should be arranged directly with Mr. Long for an additional fee. You can contact Mr. Long by phone at (570) 872-7334 or by e-mail. All music selections must be appropriate for the sacred liturgy and conform to Music in Catholic Worship, the directive of the U.S. Catholic Bishops on liturgical music, and the Diocese of Paterson.
5. The Abbey Principal Organist and leader of song will be available for the Funeral Mass. A stipend of $250 is payable to the organist. The cantor receives $200. The funeral director should present these checks at the time of the Funeral Mass.
6. St. Mary's Abbey has a standard music program (booklet), which you are welcome to use. It is often very difficult (if not impossible) to print programs in time for the Funeral Mass. You may also select music from the Worship hymnal, which can be found in the pews throughout the Abbey Church.
7. The introductory rites (greeting, sprinkling with holy water, and placing of the funeral pall) are ordinarily celebrated at the altar, after the processional hymn, not at the doors of the church. The funeral director is requested to seat the family before the processional hymn begins.
8. Members of the family or close personal friends are invited to place the pall on the casket, and serve as lectors, servers, and communion ministers at the Funeral Mass provided these people have experience with these ministries in their own parish..
9. Only one (1) member of the family (or a close personal friend) may offer some brief (5 minutes) reflections before the Collect (opening prayer) of the Funeral Mass, per diocesan policy. A written text, appropriate for the sacred liturgy, is reviewed by the celebrant for approval. We recommend that other relatives and friends share their memories and stories at the wake service(s), gaveside or the gathering after the burial.
10. The following practical concerns are brought to your attention:
The main entrance of the Abbey Church is ADA compliant. Several parking spaces are available in front of Vincent House for those with handicapped permits.
The west door of the Abbey Church is also barrier-free. Limited parking is available by the Abbey Infirmary.
The church parking lot (East Gate Road Visitor/Student lot) holds 88 cars. If you expect an unusually large congregation to attend the Funeral Mass, the funeral director is to arrange for parking attendants to lead guests to other parking lots on campus.
The public address system in the Abbey Church is also ADA compliant. Devices are available to amplify sound for those who are hearing-impaired. Requests for the use of such devices should be made to the Church Rector or sacristan. You may also choose to make use of the live streaming system.
The funeral director may wish to drive the hearse directly to the front steps of the church via the concrete path past the cul-de-sac. During the Funeral Mass, the funeral director may turn the hearse around so that the casket can be easily placed into the hearse following the dismissal.
Restrooms are located in the area behind the organ near the west door of the Abbey Church.